I found my purpose in life.To serve others. To do what is right, because it's right. Even if no one else understands it. I've removed people from my life who will never understand it. I'm good with my choices. I did my best to teach by example. I'm good with my Life.I'm good with my God. I've finally made a good life with my one true love. I'm Proud of the man and father I've grown to be. I did my best to teach my code. I did my best to walk the talk. I wish the same for you as long as you live. Much Love and Respect. Until we Meet Again. By the time you read this, I will have died and been gone for a year. My body failed my desire to stay here with Tosha and MacGyver Zoey and Karma and get to another season of baseball to umpire. In our home, we have a saying, that baseball is life. I don't want to go, and I don't understand much, but in my heart I know It's time for me to get my heavenly umpire assignment, I just know it's going to be some great baseball. I know that many of you don't understand my passion for serving others, and never have, but when I found my soulmate Tosha, everything finally fell into place. I finally had someone to walk the path I wanted to walk, and we've never looked back. We met while serving the youth sports community, and have done our best to keep giving back to organizations that helped us teach the 7 children we raised together about the importance of sportsmanship, fair play, and team work, hard work, and doing right because it's right. I am a United States Marine. I am a husband. A father. A Grandfather. A sports official. A union brother. I am me. I do what's right, because it's right. Sometimes that's a hard road to travel. Some of you love me for it, some of you will hate me forever. I am writing these words down so you will know that they are my words, and my thoughts. As for my Marine Corps Service Brothers, I would like to say: Semper Fi brothers. Please make sure my wife has what she needs to continue forward and care for our family. To my sports official family, I would like to say: I'm so honored to have worked with you. I have so much respect for you all, and hope you will carry on and serve the youth of today and tomorrow and show good examples of how honorable adults should give of their time. For my coworkers, there's nothing more I can say, except carry on. Much respect. You've all been such an immense part of our lives, I'm proud to have worked with you all. Thank you for all the prayers and support you've given Tosh and I during this time. If I could talk to my mom, I would ask her to help me become a better man. There's always room for improvement. She was tough on me when I needed it, and gave me unconditional love when I had a few fails in life. I'm so very proud that I got to introduce her to my soulmate, and she died knowing I had someone to love me unconditionally for the rest of my life. If I could talk to my dad, I would say thank you. I learned some of the most important things in life watching my stepdad. He didn't say much, but I watched his actions. His leadership and grace in the face of the crazy life he walked into when he married mom was amazing, and has held me steady for all these years. I hope that my children shall honor and remember me the way I've honored and remembered him for all these years. He was truly a special man. For my awesome Mother In Law I want to say I love you and thank you for your wisdom, and support during this difficult time, and for all the wonderful ways you helped make our life better. I'm so sorry I won't get to see your new place, but I know that Jeff and Kim will take great care of you. I love you, and am so grateful you've been my mom for almost 20 years. For my Brother in Law and Marines Corp Brother Jeff, Thank you. I love you brother. The prayers that you've started could be felt all the way here. I know that if Tosha needs you she can count on you. Check in on her from time to time, because she works too hard some times. I'm sorry we didn't get one last trip down to visit. I couldn't have asked for a more chill or wonderful brother than I got when I married your sister. Thank you ,and please give Noah a great big Hug. He's an amazing young man who's going to go far in life! God Bless you all. For my wonderful Father in Law, I want to say thank you for being a true dad to me for almost 20 years. It's obvious that Tosha gets her strength and arrow straight honesty and deep heart for serving others from you. I'm so proud to be part of your family, and I'm indebted to you in more ways than I can even count. I love you more than I'll ever be able to express here. Thank you for your help and support, and all the time we've shared together. Thank you for your service to our country, and even though I like to give you a hard time, you Navy Guys are A-ok with me. God Bless you Dad. I Love you. God Bless you. For my brothers, Don, Rick, Jeff and Richie I want to tell you that you are amazing, wonderful people, and I wish you a lifetime of happiness with your beautiful smart and caring wives. Rock on and do what you do, and please check in on Tosh once in awhile to make sure she's not working too hard. I love you brothers. No one could ask for better family. Thank you forgiving me the space I needed to fight this battle when I asked you to. I always know you're there if I need you, but I choose to fight this battle my way. I am the head of my home, and make the choices that are best for me and my family, and expect them to be honored. Thank you for honoring my hardest choices; they are made with much thought and experience and consideration of what is best for me and my family. God Bless you all. I have nothing but love and respect for you in my heart. Much love and respect. I know that I want to say something special to the people who I shall miss so much, most especially our children who gave their time and energy to be present in our lives, and to invite us into theirs and honored me with their presence often here on the old farm. Matthew James Carlson, you are a wonderful son. I love you as my own. So talented, and truly giving. You are growing into a wonderful leader. I love the time we have together. Your wife Danielle is lovely and I hope you treasure each other as your mom and I have treasured our time together. You have grown into a young man I respect, and I love you very much. There are not enough ways to say good things about you. Thank you for respecting the final wishes we have made. I know you will honor my choices and decisions. I have a set of core values which must be upheld, and those that don't understand or choose to ignore have no place in my life. You are learning those values, son, as the years pass. I'm proud of you. There is no one to be held above you son. You are my son, and I love you. Danielle, you are such a lovely young woman. Thank you for everything you've done for us during this rough patch. You are growing into a wonderful daughter in law, and are doing a great job with raising Aiden and Callie. Give them big hugs from me once in awhile to remind them how much I love you all. I would have loved to spend some relaxed time with you up north, enjoying the beauty of our state with you all. Brad, you have so much to give and to learn, and I love the man you are growing to be. I see you beginning to find a niche from which you can serve the community, and I love it. I'm so very proud of your growth. Be engaged in the family responsibilities first, so you can truly see what a treasure your family is, especially your absolutely wonderful wife , Rachael, about whom we cannot say enough good. Spending time with you and Rachael and the children has been one of the greatest pleasures we've had in life. Nothing comes without sacrifice, so try to remember to enjoy your family time first, when possible. I love you very much. I wish you a lifetime of happiness and fulfilling service to others. Carry on the core values I've done my best to show you. Honor and Respect my choices for my family. I make those choices as your Father. God Bless you Son. I love you. Carry on. Rachael, you have truly been a daughter to me. Thank you for so much more than I can say here. Truly, you are a wonderful person who has given freely of your time, and honored us with so much time with Dylan, Tori, Bradley, Caleb and Maya . Thank you for honoring us as grandparents, and for being an amazing daughter and friend to Tosh and I. There is no way we could have walked this journey without your amazing support. God Bless you, and don't forget to take care of yourself sometimes too. I love you as my own. I don't have to tell you to take care of Tosha; I see you both support each other and I'm so proud of both of you. You are so dear to me. Please make sure the children all know how very much they are loved. I love you all so much. Heather, you have so much within you, and you haven't found your place yet. You are beautiful, and smart, and kind, too. Spending time with you and the children have given us so much joy! Thank you for all the help you've given us as we've traveled this rough road. Please remember you are so much stronger than you think, and find work that gives you freedom from all the negative people that want to pull you down. You are truly, truly, stronger than you know.I know, because I helped give you the tools that you need, and I have faith in you to follow the core values I believe in. All you have to do is act on your best intentions, and stick to it, and stay away from people who desire drama. I respect you much more than you know; all you have to do is get back up and begin again when you fall down. I love you as my own, and I wish I could be here to see the day when you finally find yourself. I love you. God Bless you my beautiful wonderful smart daughter. Travis, I'm so proud of some of the decisions that you've made in life, seeing you really begin to grow and learn since you've come home from the Marine Corps has given us great joy. It takes so much work to learn how to balance life, and that is what I wish for you. Balance. Moderation, if you can. I haven't been perfect, but I have found a way to learn, and grow from any mistakes I've made in life. I hope you learn and grow all your life. Find a way to give back that is only yours. Don't follow anyone's path; you don't have to follow mine, but I am proud for the things we've shared. It takes lots of time and effort to find what works for you. I have faith that you will continue until you find just the right role that fits only you. I wish for you a lifetime of continued learning and excellence and happiness. I have faith that you will honor my wishes and choices that I have made for my family. I have faith that you will Honor Tosha as your parent, you can't go wrong there, son. Have faith in my choices; they are right for everyone. God Bless you Son, I love you so much. Trevor, I hope you continue to seek and find the path that's going to lead to happiness for you. It's not right that you should feel angry all the time, and no one understands more than I; I came from a really bad childhood. But the nice thing about growing into a man is having the choice to make decisions that are right. When you are taking care of responsibilities that you create, there's a peace and a satisfaction that comes from knowing you're on the right path. Be sure to check in on your Mom from Time to Time; we are both your biggest fans. Much Respect, Trevor, I love you very much, and want nothing but the very best for you for the rest of your life. I've loved you as my own for a very very long time. God Bless you Son. Adrian, I love you so much. You have such great potential, and I want you to follow it. Don't be afraid to get more education, and break free of mediocrity. You have great things in you, and it's obvious to me that you are meant for tremendously good things. Thank you for taking care of us when we needed you, I want you always to know that our house is your home, and it will always be here for you, and we're making arrangements for that. I love you as my own. Don't be afraid to let your intelligence shine through! God Bless you son, you have helped so much more than you think you have. I love you as my own and want peace and love and a lifetime of happiness for you. Helen I've been harder on you, because I've learned core values that shouldn't be broken, and I did my best to instill those with you so that life will be a little easier along the way for you. I love you. I love the woman you've become, and I love you as my own , and I'm so proud of you, and love how strong you've become. I'm so proud to be your dad. You've given me a wonderful lifetime of happiness watching you grow, and I'm so grateful for being in your life. You are the best daughter anyone could ever have. Thank you for being here every step of the way for me and your mom. I wish I could give you away at your wedding, I wish you a lifetime of happiness. I love you. To my beautiful, amazing, wonderful, understanding, hardworking wife. I love you more than anything in this whole world, and will be waiting for you in the next. Thank you for loving me unconditionally and supporting my dreams. I have loved our time together, and am proud of supporting your dreams too. I'm in harness right next to you my love. Never doubt that. I love you more than baseball. I know you have that in a text…you might have to prove it to a few umpires, but I do, and thank you for working so hard and being the best wife a man could have. I love you more than Icecream too! No one could have ever been a better spouse and I praise God every day for the time we have had together. You have completed my life in a way I only dreamed was possible before we met. Thank you for being the love of my life, my best friend, my soul mate my confidant, and my champion when I needed someone to deflect people issues and circumstances during these trials. We haven't failed in our mission, because we have fought together every step of the way. I love you, and will be listening for the words of affirmation I've loved hearing from you every day of our marriage. For those family members that I haven't mentioned for my own personal reasons, I wish to say that I have exercised my right to remove you out of our lives by my own choice. To be clear, I don't want you in the lives of the people I love any more. You've chosen a path that isn't one I agree with and isn't one to which I want to expose the rest of my family. Your actions and words have been extremely out of line with what I expect from a caring family member, and as the head of my family, I no longer want you in it. You've been ugly and exhibited egregious behavior that is so far beyond acceptable I cannot even express how much you disgust me. The lies you've told about me and those I care about leave me no choice except to cut you out of our lives. I've done everything I can to leave you room to apologize or make amends, and still you've continued your ugliness. I've done my due diligence in pursuing peace with you, and still you persist in outrageous words and behaviors; not to my face, but behind my back in the most hurtful ways possible, instead of being adults and accepting your responsibility for your actions and words. I've spent my life trying to be above all of that, but now I feel that I need to address it so you know. I've left explicit instructions for my family that you are not to be bothering them in any way. I don't want you near them . This is my choice, and I've made it very clear. You have shown no love or respect for me and mine. You are no longer my family. This is the consequence of your behavior. I hope you find something better in life by finding an honorable purpose, a good job, and a way to spend your time that teaches you the things I couldn't when I was here. Only God can forgive you now. I've done my best to address everyone and everything in life. God Be With You All. Steven J Austin